HELLO HELLO! -BEAMS! im feeling uber bored so i decided to come back here and update for once. i dont know what else i can type but ill write whatever i can think of, to make up for my long hiatus! ((:

haiya, i got nothing to update! LOL. cause i spent my entire months, weeks, days, hours, minutes and seconds on my studies, and i really mean it okay. of course there's some hours spent on resting. okay crap. prelims just ended and yes! just a month more and its As! the big fat A! i cant really imagine how time flies just like that. shawn kor told me he's waiting for his ORD and i was like, HUH? SO FAST?! i think im living way behind time. HAHA. but really, slogging hard every single day makes me feel that every day is the same, no difference and the world aint changing (but it is). so you can probably guess what kind of world im living. but but! im happy the way it is. yes, you definitely gonna say studying is uber boring but, life's too simple that i think im probably more or less satisfied with life like this.

inevidently, it wont be possible to make it through prelims without people around me. determination came from my fellow peeps! ((: i've got lots of studymates! HAHA. let me see uh. thanks alvin for teaching me my econs. i can see he really has a hard time teaching me. yeah la, even though yang didnt take econs he would score better than me la right. thanks garerern for teaching me thermody! last minute decision to change my chemistry option topic, but i didnt regret it. (: thanks hongseng for his companion for those studying hours together. guowei, vyerern, shahrin, zhisen, ruirong, mich, ying, jess, siewhui, iezhi etc. definitely more than these people, im sorry if i didnt name you here. ): you know what, i made great friends in pj! i take my word for that! :D

no worries, marilyn's not gonna talk about studies alone. lets talk about my DANCE! ((: YES! DANCE! i cant really rmb when j2s stepped down but, mich ying & i stayed in dance throughout with the j1s still, but not now anymore. i would say, throughout these months, we shared a close bond with each other. im really really happy with mich and ying's companion. met up for practices, went out together, sat and chill and every lil thing. it'll be a waste if we didnt stay on in dance and im glad we did. if not for that, we wouldnt have been closer. and yes, our very last performance with some of the j2s. it was awesome! hot hot hot! thanks sal for the choreography and thanks to every single of them for their guidance. i do admit theres unhappiness during practices, but our will for giving the last to our performance spurred us on. most importantly, i guess, without mich and ying, i wouldnt have survived. mich & ying! i love you girls truckloads! i missed the heart-ta-heart talk with ying. i missed the long conversation over the phone with mich. i missed that day we went shopping together. i missed the time we had during our practices and rehearsals. i missed lunch breaks together. there's so much im missing but no matter how much they are, sure we gonna stay in contact even after As, wont we? (: oh yeah! the last dance, i tried to upload to youtube but it doesnt seem to work! when ill have the time, i'll try my best to upload it so everyone can watch it! ill pass the cd around soon to you girls, dont worry! (: but meanwhile, we'll work hard for our As!

i wont forget my girlfriend. cause of my studies, cause of us being in different schools, she got to be patient with me for not going out with her most of the time, spending time together. im glad we met up ydae still darl. (:

there's one person i really want to thank - kiT! i wont deny that these few months ive been living in pain, dealing with my emotions. he's been there listening to all my complaints, everything and gave me a lot of guidance. it was only recently i got some enlightenment though. but i can be very sure to say, without all his guidance, i wont be able to get back on my feets, being a bubbly girl i used to be. yes kit, although some of those are still unsolved, but im not as afraid, cause i got you to guide me along! (: thank u!

like what i told myself, if i ever updated here again, ill talk about how to deal with exams! no no, its not about telling you what to study and all. i believe during these period, there are times when we got to handle our emotions and its really tough i must say. some people may face friendship, relationship, or family problems at that point and i realised that dealing with it is the most important thing of all cause most of us, may not be able to handle well and ended up affecting our studies. i wont be able to tell you what to do, how to do. but here's one thing i can share. i told myself before i went into the exam hall this: no, im not gonna let this matter to affect me and let my 2 years of efforts and pain to go to a waste just like that. that's how i pull myself through (:

having said that, yeah i seemed to be aint happy all these while. not entirely true. (: i had some problems with someone though, and things aint going well. wells, not gonna talk about it here but with friends around me, im one better person now. yups! those dining sessions with gr, zhisen and ruirong. oh yes! we had a small birthday party for garerern at the bball court, with helmi, shah, iezhi, black, zhisen and me! (did i leave anyone out? =/) it was SUPER SECLUDED i tell ya! its really doubtful why they wanna build a bball court near a forest or smth. but u know what, garerern said he was really happy! haha yes! i enjoyed too, at the midst of our prep for prelims. such a short break for us! pretty good! (:

and i thank mommy and daddy and lil sis, though i guess they probably wont be reading this. cause of their support, im determined to win, to work hard no matter how much pain it takes. lovelove! (:

where are you? i need you still.